Dating Depression is Real: And it Hurts like Hell
It hurts so much you just want to stay under the covers forever, hugging your pillow, sobbing with kleenex in hand. Why get up to simply walk about in a fog? To cry when you hear certain songs. To withdraw into a web of suffocating sadness when you see other loving couples.To obsess over your loneliness without him. To jump every time your cell phone rings pleading it’s him. To watch for text messages 24/7. it’s just too much!
The dictionary definition of depression: feelings of severe despondency and dejection. “self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression”
Many of us have been there—the cold, hard pain of rejection. It’s soul-stabbing pain. It’s humiliating. It’s cruel. It’s insufferable. Its searing sting demoralizes our heart. And you pray this will never happen to you again.
How long does the pain last? Depending on length and depth of involvement, sad to say it could be years.
Friends who have never experienced this level of depression offer kind platitudes: You’ll meet someone else soon; He wasn’t good enough for you; stop thinking about him and concentrate on your job, hobby, kids, other family members, yada, yada, yada.
Or even chastise you: “Just get a hold of yourself and move on”!
From the movie, South Pacific, there is a song that sings, “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair” …
Oh, if only it were that easy.
Can you simply will yourself to ignore the pain? Umm, nope, doesn’t work. The heart is treacherous and wants what it wants. You can’t trick it by pretending the pain of lost love is not there. The hurt is there and it is real. And to think otherwise is not acknowledging reality.
Truth be told, you are in for the fight of your life because … Feelings and emotions are not like light switches that you can turn on and off at will. Nope, doesn’t work that way.
Botton line is: You can’t control how you feel about a man, BUT, You CAN CONTROL what you do about it. And that’s where the fix comes in.
You have three options when faced with depression:
- Let it overtake, sinking you deeper into depression, and even thoughts of suicide
- Seek help and work through it with support either from a close friend or counseling
- Put up a hard fight on your own and develop a plan to survive romantic rejection
The purpose of this page is to acknowledge that the pain is real and that you might need counseling to work through it. Or a good friend can also help if that friend is willing to listen to your sorrow for in an indefinite period of time. Because it will take TIME and a lot of TIME to heal.
So, no, you’re not crazy–the depression is real. You’re simply caught in its trap for the time being. It’s a sad situation that you will somehow, someway have to work through.
Much easier said than done. Granted.
However, an education in how love works and doesn’t work can help direct your next steps when you’re ready to date again. Following are insightful links that help you get that education.
Also, I will be posting many articles on how to work through rejection pain in coming weeks and months. Keep checking posts on a regular basis.
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