Hooking-up is a way of life for millions of young women. Had a ‘ball’ in high school. Swung even more in college. And as a young adult in her 20s it’s the dating norm. Sex on demand with whomever, whenever— what’s not to love. The modern woman has blossomed into her fully fledged sexual agency!
moving into her 30s she realizes she wants more than fun and games. Sleeping around has lost its edge. She feels empty. Sometimes cheap and easy. Something is missing. Is this all there is?
At this stage, she begins wanting permanency with one special person. She wants monogamy, commitment, emotional fulfillment with a life-long friend and partner. In a word, she wants “Marriage.”
The dilemma now is how to find Mr. Right without continuing to sex all the frogs along the way.
Therefore, this post addresses single women looking for marriage. Women tired of dating in circles, sleeping around, hooking-up, going nowhere and just want to learn how-to-date to marry.
It’s a Mindset Change
Easy to understand, hard to do.
She has to view her body as a “gift of high value”. A gift of her heartfelt love to be shared with the man who esteems her value, her uniqueness, her talents, her emotional selflessness, her kindness, her joy, her patience,— as a gift from her soul to his soul only.
To emphasize: YOUR LOVE IS A GIFT unlike any other in the world. Treat it as such and expect others to also.
In other words, for a man to receive this gift from you, he has to earn your love. He has to value you as the prize to win. You set the rules, you take the lead as to when intimacy happens. This is a tall order. But how does she do this without turning him ‘off’? Sounding pushy, even old-fashioned.
It’s tricky and calls for trust in herself and the boldness to stick to her resolve. These are dating skills that can be learned based on understanding how men think and how they pursue.
It Starts with Relationship Education
You must understand what Romantic love IS and IS NOT! Next, you must embrace “self-love” FIRST. To reiterate, Love is First an Inside Job.
The love development process is to:
- Recognize what love IS and IS NOT. Then learn all four aspects of love and how to weave them into the relationship with emphasis on the synergy between Romantic and Principled love (eros vs agape)
- Appreciate the definition of first love as yourself
- Develop a Personal Profile that defines your inner core
- Develop a Selection Profile that defines your best match
- Understand the importance of the Selection Process
- Learn how men and women play the dating game differently
- Master the six stages of the dating process recognizing yourself as the prize as you and your prospective mate work through each stage step by step
- Trust the power of time as your best ally
- Grasp the true meaning of commitment
- And Walla! You could be on your way to inviting me to your wedding day!
Seriously, once you understand what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and how to do it, the dating game and its secrets open up wide before you, and the veil of mystery disappears. You’ll enjoy dating as never before because you will know what your role is, where you want to go and how to get there. It’s really a very simple process to learn. But depends on you to execute properly to benefit yourself.
When I was young (Grandma-D) I travailed the trail of hooking up. But as I approached 30 I wanted a husband and family. The problem became the same old merry-go-round. Meet a great guy, bed romp, get dropped like a hot potato. What was more unsettling was when I met a guy that clicked. We seemed like the perfect couple.
He wined and dined me for 3 months. Loving me up morning ’till night. My head swirled with dreams of my wedding day. My entire family fell in love with him. I was sure he was the one … until he disappeared. Left town. Gone. After some time I read about a man like him in a Cosmopolitan article entitled, “The 90-Day Man.”
I learned that after 90 days this man had saturated himself with everything I had to give–and was ready to move on to another 90-day adventure with another woman. Can you understand how devastated I was … for years! Every day I asked, “How could I have prevented this continuing cycle?
Again, I kept repeating in my head, “how could I have prevented this”? I read self-help books by the dozens and did lots of research on how men think. I eventually found a system that I wrote about and put into a book. As a result, you’re going to learn a viable system to alleviate dating hookups. To instead build a relationship based on high values that can lead to marriage.
After reading and applying its principles, rarely will you ever again suffer the hurt and humiliation of getting empty lookups.
Again, I feel your pain. I’ve been there, done that. That’s why I am offering you this Six-Step Solution. You’re going to learn how to protect yourself against meaningless dating by understanding the essentials of
1) self-love first,
2) the psyche of how men pursue, and
3) the inestimable skill of using time as your best ally. (Time is the secret power play few use) Keep reading to learn more.
When you combine these three elements by implementing the following Six Powerful Dating Skills, then WHAM! That will give you the knock-out punch training you need to boldly stand up for yourself to regain your self-esteem if you’ve already been victimized.
This system was my savior. It pulled me out of the depths of despair. I was “somebody” worthwhile to love and be loved. More importantly, I developed a game plan. A game plan means you have the dating skills to know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and how to do it step-by-step that “opens his heart” causing him to bond with you like no other woman can. These steps prompt FRIENDSHIP first as the ultimate bonding tool.
The Six Dating Skills Journey from Selection, through Dating into Marriage
One: First date(s) are all about Getting to know one another in a POSITIVE way. Make sure your conversation is all POSITIVE. No negative talk at all. And, please don’t lay bare your deepest, darkest secrets and problems. Make him feel happy to be around you. If he’s interested he will let you know. If you’re interested you will accept his attention.
Two: Testing time. Men have a difficult time being exclusive. After dating a while, he may pull away trying to decide if you’re the one he can make happy. Resist the urge to do anything that resembles chasing him during this period. If he doesn’t call, this means (at least at this time) that he decided not to pursue further and you have to move on. Learn how to resist.
Three: Going steady. You each decide not to see anyone else and open up a little to see if you each can get what you need from the other. It’s time to investigate what the two of you are made of, again in a positive sense. Each partner must experience the best the other has to offer. At this point, you are creating a history of dates where he has succeeded and you feel supported. Be your best self and bring out your partner’s best. This is a definite skill; learn how to do it.
Four: Cultivate verbal intimacy. Now it’s time to start communicating on the deepest level. This communication probes to assess compatibility on how to handle differences, manage disagreements; it scrutinizes likes, dislikes, and habits, thinking on politics, religion, health, future parenting, financial matters, career expectation, housework, conflict resolution, anger, jealousy, insecurities, neediness and so forth.
Once these issues are resolved, usually, couples have established genuine love and may choose to engage in physical sex. Remember, Sex too soon can sink your budding romance before he gets to know the real you as a woman to be valued and prized. (That takes time). Be careful.
Five: Commitment. There is only one time to think about it – BEFORE you make it. With your heart and mind, you pledge unconditional love. To be there for each other in good and bad times. To weather all storms together. To be loyal and faithful. To honor and respect. To love each other for a lifetime. If you’re not ready to make that kind of vow–you’re not ready for marriage.
Six: Engagement. At this point, it is time to practice the two most important skills of staying married: the ability to apologize and to forgive. The perfect time to practice giving apologies and finding forgiveness is during the engagement. Learn how to do that!
Another benefit of the engagement period is to let passionate love “settle” into ordinary everyday love with your best friend and lover in a far deeper kind of love that will stand the test of time.
THE LOVE STORY OF JULIE AND DAVE
I decided to present the material in fiction form as a love story rather than ordinary text. That’s much more interesting, don’t you think? The story centers on Julie Shannon who you’ll meet and watch fall in and out of love and endure the trials and tribulations of love gone awry … until she “gets it” through learning how to date with purpose and direction leading to the altar. By following her example you learn how to dodge rejection and fight for the love life you desire.
Julie dates five different men before she gets it right. Finally, she meets Dave Marlin, but before plunging in, she learns how to assess the “inner” man by using “time” as her best ally. Even so, she has neglected something vital and Dave is hedging on commitment. Learn how she uses a time-tested strategy to gain commitment and why it works most of the time–IF he loves you ENOUGH. …Learn how you determine what “enough” means. And how your man should manifest this “enough” love toward you.
Let’s meet the six guys Julie dates and what she learns from each:
- Jess — learn the outcome of desperation in her foolish experience
- Rick — see her definition of “relationship” shattered by a reality check
- Phil — watch her evaluate temporary rewards vs long-term commitment
- Walter — experience her distress as she weighs the price of “settling”
- Stu — feel her excitement in the arms of Stu Malone in her highly charged interracial relationship as she tries to tame a notorious womanizer
- Dave — finally meet Dave Harland with the twinkling teddy bear eyes. Dave is kind, sensitive, funny and ‘oh, so sexy’ and fits her SELECTION profile to a T, but WAIT … this time does she possess the necessary skills to challenge herself into his heart? Has she learned from past mistakes? Then learn her strategy to gain commitment when Dave hedges.
Notice from this excerpt, how devastating that hedge (which was actually marriage rejection) was to Julie:
Their relationship was “ideal.” In her eyes, near perfection. Dave was the love of her life. So, after two years, Julie was ready for marriage. The time seemed perfect to establish a home and start their own family. Dave seemed to want that, too.
One summer day during an outing with the kids from the shelter, Julie said, “They’re so adorable. Wonder what ours will look like? I know,” she teased, “our son will be a freckled blond and as funny as Jay Leno, or maybe tall and handsome as James Bond. And our daughter, oh, she’ll be as beautiful as Angelina Jolie with the voice of Celine Dion.” Smiling, she snuggled close, her eyes radiating happiness, and looked up at Dave.
“What’s the hurry?” he snapped. “We’re perfect just the way we are.”
Julie’s heart fainted, stunned by his surprising remark and cutting tone. Opening her mouth, she tried to speak, but the words refused to come. She stared at him in disbelief. Blood drained from her face. She sat dazed. Shocked and confused, she turned away.
Dave immediately changed his tone and took her hand in his. “Sure,” he said, gently caressing trying to console. “One day we will marry. It’s just that marriage is such a life-altering commitment. One that I’m not sure I’m ready for. But I do love you. And when I marry, it will be you,” he assured her.
Julie could only nod. In an instant, a grotesque masquerade had materialized clouding her perfect world obscuring its definition, darkening its future, threatening its happiness. She heard Dave’s words trailing off in the distance . . . far, far away as she felt her soul drifting into a trance escaping into another world. A world where her prince loved her. Where she was resplendent in bridal lace and pearls. Where music romanced the air and champagne flowed. Where well-wishers kissed the bride. Not here. Not witnessing this hedging. Not looking at this impostor who denied their marriage.
Continuing the afternoon was impossible. Making excuses, she left early. She had to get away. Had to regain composure. Had to think. Once home, she collapsed on the bed, her head throbbing at being so unprepared for, and utterly devastated by this surprising turn of events. This rejection!
As a consequence of Dave’s reaction, Julie made brave bold moves that challenged Dave’s stance on marriage. The strategy she used took all the courage in every beat of her heart, in every pulse of her body to pull off. But she did it. Learn what she did, how and why it worked.
Dave shows up with ring in hand.
Who this book is NOT for — the woman who:
- Is not ready for marriage
- Loves hooking up and will continue
- Wants quick bullet points to answer all questions
- Wants to explore her sexual agency to her heart’s content w/o commitment
- Doesn’t want to read a workbook
- Doesn’t want to follow the story of Julie and Dave
- Doesn’t see the need to change dating habits
- Is perfectly content with the way she currently dates
The Benefits of Overcoming Hookups
Who this workbook IS for — the woman who:
- Tired of empty meaningless hookups
- Tired of rejection – ready to learn how to stop getting dumped
- Is ready for marriage – ready to learn how to date to marry
- Wants her love fully returned to her in commitment
- Tired of playing the same old no-win dating game
- Wants to learn how love develops and grows
- Wants to identify the glue that holds love together and how to use it
- Wants to learn how to maintain her husband’s love for a lifetime
Now the only question to ask is…
“Do I believe enough in myself to invest in an education that will help me identify my best match then help me develop my relationship into the lifetime love that I deserve? Do I want to be a happy bride? “Do I want to be loved?” Do I want to share my life with a man I love? Of course, you do! Don’t wait another minute to start. Click here!
“To love the one who loves you–To admire the one who admires you–In a word, To be the idol of one’s idol–Is exceeding the limit of human joy–It is stealing fire from heaven.”Delphine de Girardin
P. S. You need to make the right decision for you, but you must make that decision right NOW and not waste another minute running from one no-win relationship to the next — going from man to man without winning commitment. No more broken hearts; no more love triangles; no more cheating; no more empty promises; no more lies; no more emotional distress. No more emptiness. AND NO MORE REJECTION. …Instead, learn how to date to marry!
It’s time for your happiness! In just 24 hours you will learn enough to immediately improve your dating skills. This new-found know-how will boost your attitude and confidence level higher than ever before as you become a woman who dates with purpose and direction… all the way to the altar. Order here.
Pretty exciting stuff, huh! At last, you’ve found a relationship workbook that will give you the inside secrets to how love and romance develop and progress. With this information in hand, you will know how to handle each phase of a relationship from SELECTION through DATING into MARRIAGE.
Come on, grab the happiness you deserve and start living the loving life you deserve! Click here.
REMEMBER: You Can Resist Becoming the Victim of Romantic Rejection!
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