The Surprise Perk Men Seek in Relationships
CAN YOU COOK?
Okay, feminists, get ready to get teed off. We’re talking DNA here, and the fact that men and women are programmed differently. By nature, men seek to provide and protect his family. And as a complement to him, in return he seeks respect, support and love. One aspect of that love is that his wife, the nurturer of his family, can “cook.”
Yes, I said it.
Healthy, happy, harmonious relationships are ones in which each partner acts as a complement of the other. When a 21st century man seeks a woman who can cook, it’s not a demeaning requirement. It’s instinctive. He’s simply looking for that complement of his – the other half that completes the union — the one that provides support and nurturing.
It all boils down to human nature and the programmed “order” of the marriage arrangement.
(This “order” is detailed in Part III of the, How-to-Date-to-Marry Workbook. It is entitled: Marital Harmonics.)
An informal survey conducted with men 30-40 years of age to find out what men of this generation are looking for in a life-time partner revealed their top 5 requirements (aside from sex).
The answer surprised us.
We expected among other qualities:
- Attractive and physically fit
- Assertive and strong
- Educated and confident
- Talented and creative
- Financially secure
- Money-management skills,
- Goal oriented
These qualities, however, are what WOMEN think men are looking for. And to a certain extent that’s true.
For instance, men want help with finances, because in today’s world it often takes two paychecks to live a desirable life and raise a family. Education is a factor because the higher the education generally the higher the paycheck, and most often, educated men factor in educated women for compatibility. Also money management skills are important to use resources wisely to live well in the present and to invest for the future. And of course he wants someone attractive, healthy and physically fit.
The number one requirement men listed as most desirable is that…
She Can Cook!
Yes, you read that right.
“Chauvinistic pigs!” I hear you scream. “How can that be in this 21st century?”
Ladies, this is where understanding the laws of Human Nature come in.
Order in the Universe
We see laws of nature at work when astronomers discover, to their amazement, more galaxies, more stars and previously unknown planets. They estimate there are BILLIONS galaxies, each with billions of stars like our sun.
Now what makes these statistics truly astounding is that these galaxies are not scattered haphazardly in space. They are usually arranged in definite groups called clusters, like grapes in a bunch. And then the clusters themselves are arranged in “superclusters” like bunches of grapes on a vine. And they all orbit flawlessly.
This “order” is what makes scientists marvel.
What is the point of this mini-science lesson you ask? It’s that by universal laws of nature, “order” abounds in the universe. And these universal laws of nature never fail to produce the best results for this vast universe including our planet earth.
Order in Human Nature
Likewise there are programmed laws at work that clearly define human nature. That is, there is ORDER to how interactions between men and women work best.
To make your relationships work, you must understand the programmed ORDER of relationships between men and women. Couples were programmed to work in sync together as one, harmonizing in unity like the rest of the universe does. The only way back to love and happiness between couples is to get back to basics. Understanding the role specifics and working within that leadership/support arrangement.
Now here’s the sobering fact. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in this “order” or not. Doesn’t matter whether modern society believes it or not. Doesn’t matter whether men consciously understand this or not. Doesn’t matter whether women fight against it or not. It is already programmed into the genes — and NOTHING can change that!
What you have to do is work within the parameters of that arrangement to make relationships work best; which, by the way, takes us back to why men listed as number one, the requirement that their wives can cook.
It is because, by nature, a man sees himself as responsible for his family’s well being: the leader, protector and bread-winner. Even if he doesn’t live up to that responsibility (deadbeat dads know they should; they just don’t live up to that responsibility) he knows he should.
So when a man of the 21st century seeks a woman who can cook, it’s not a demeaning requirement. It’s instinctive. He’s simply looking for that complement of his – the other half that completes the union – the one that provides support and nurturing. It all boils down to human nature and the programmed “order” of the marital arrangement.
So all things being equal, if a man had the choice between two women, by nature, he would lean toward the one he feels more likely to be his complement – not fighting at odds with him for control, but the one who would always keep family as first priority and all that that entails – including preparing home-cooked meals. Thus, how the pot roast can win the marriage ring.
Does this mean wives stay at home to cook all day? Of course not! It has more to do with attitude–attitude toward the marriage arrangement and her willingness to nurture her family.
Many men are better cooks; love to cook; prefer to do all the cooking for the family as with stay at home dads.
That said, men love home-cooked meals and often brag what a good cook their wives are. Especially if he comes from a home background where his mother was a great cook and prepared fabulous meals and holiday feasts, he might be more inclined that usual to lean toward a women who would flourish in that atmosphere.
Could there, then, be truth to the expression: “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”
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Until next time …